A beautiful and moving testimony

Here is a beautiful testimony by a female physics instructor. She allowed me to share some of her quotes.

Feminism revisited

[...]

I've lived most of my life trying to be tough. Trying to handle everything emotionally and physically. Not that I acted butch on the surface (though it bordered on that too at times), but tough in any other way I could manage. I took a degree in what I thought was the hardest subject, in large part because it was hard. Physics is probably one of the most heavily male dominated fields. Throughout my years studying it and working in it, I never felt any prejudice against me, or encountered any sexism.

But the prejudice against what some call "the feminine" is so deep, and such an integral part of our society. In effect, I am not talking about prejudice against women, but about prejudice held by both men and women, against what are traditionally known as feminine characteristics, that either sex may manifest. I believe this prejudice against certain ways of being, is what causes actual prejudice towards the female gender and in turn, discrimination, even violence against women.

I had long gotten used to the idea that the deepest parts of me are uncomfortable with my work and had become resigned to live with that disconnect. Uncomfortable with a manufactured need for rigour and mind numbing attention to detail, in recreating ancient experiments with dumbed-down equipment. Requiring students to be confined to a desk either listening or following (obeying) a set of detailed instructions to find a pre-determined outcome. An attempt to mimic real conditions, but in such a simplified and forced way, it requires "buying in", rather than real curiosity. The worst for me was having to herd them through this in a two hour time limit, while demanding that they obtain results and recorded data to an exacting standard, with picky rules about exactly how their work should be presented.

Creativity? We expect them to think creatively and critically, within these limits, along with piles of work and sometimes extreme parental pressure. We are continually annoyed that they don't.

Listening to one's body... where does such an utterly flaky idea fit into a scenario like this? I can tell you where - it happens when your body gives you signs you can no longer ignore, brought about by years of pushing yourself past what both body and mind can comfortably deal with, driven by the "way it has always been done".

Community and connection to others...

Compassion

Mental space to breathe, to create, to question

Lack of compulsion to comply with a status quo

These things have no place in science education as it is traditionally done. The purpose of our schools is to create employees. Employees who can sit in a chair for a certain amount of time that some company has bought them for, each day. In fact, schools and in particular science education, and my job in particular, are indicators of the state of this society and its values:

Competition. Weeding out the weak. Lack of genuine connection between people; a lack of community. Rushing to cram in as much as possible.

I am not saying these ugly things completely define the society I live in. Nothing can totally numb the side of us that goes beyond logic, that craves beauty. What I am talking about is the status quo and the elements of this society that create the structure in it, that we are all required to fit into in various ways.

The first words that come to my mind to describe "the feminine" are gentleness and vulnerability. More recently, I've been hearing the word receptivity. Acceptance of what is. Nurturing is the stereotypical one, which seems to have so much baggage attached.

At a certain point in my life, I would have been very uncomfortable with any of those. It seems to me that feminism for a long time was brainwashed by patriarchy, and sought to invalidate the feminine by arguing that women are not any more nurturing or gentle or receptive than men, as if these qualities were somehow inferior. (My point has little to do with whether or not we are).

We have been so brainwashed and so damaged for so long (both men and women) that we no longer see these archetypal feminine qualities as strengths, and seek to diminish or destroy them. Our work lives I think are particularly guilty of that: what will make us able to sit in a square cubicle made of cheap and unattractive synthetic material, in discomfort for a fair amount of time, surrounded by concrete instead of nature, in disregard for the natural need of the brain for periods of concentration and periods of relaxation, making money for someone else who sits at the top of a pyramid?
We will more willingly do this if we believe feelings are not important, that our bodies are secondary to our minds, (and indeed, that mind and body are completely separate), that weakness is despicable and those who don't "make it" are losers because they don't try hard enough - they don't force themselves through physical discomfort and spiritual wilderness as they should, in order to be "productive".

Does anyone really enjoy a world like this?

Where has this competition and this fighting to take a bigger piece of the pie (or just to get along) gotten us? This should be abundantly clear by now - to hell on Earth: pollution to the point of planetary destruction and a diminishing of resources needed for basic survival. Not to mention injustice and inequity.

I am not saying everything is bad about the "masculine" characteristics that have been predominant for so long, during the time that we have been colonising and plundering. It is just that they have been so completely unbalanced, and the "feminine" has been despised. There is nothing wrong with logic, there is nothing wrong with competition - it is part of nature. Toughness is important at times, as is the ability to be objective and un-swayed by emotions. Gregariousness and outward moving, exploring and conquering types of actions are necessary and have a beauty of their own.

I have recently been shocked by my introduction to ideas from the pre-patriarchal world. Of symbolism and myth that existed before Christianity and other patriarchal religions or world views.
The following information should not be such a surprise. But it was subverted and systematic attempts were made to eradicate it. They almost completely succeeded.
There once existed societies in which "the feminine" was revered. In which human beings of both sexes viewed the fact that the female body was capable of bringing forth life, as being as incredibly significant as it is. [...] The symbolism of what the female body was capable of, was of major importance in some of these ancient societies. The mystery and miracle of it were revered; and thus, even that part of the body was not considered too dirty and disgusting to create into a written symbol. The feminine and its incredible power and importance to life was so honoured that the nature of the womb and genital parts were symbolic of creativity, of protection, of prosperity. To think that these aspects of who I am were held in high esteem floors me.[...]